The waters are slipping over me–
I’m trembling under the weight
inch by inch.
Anxiety swells within me,
as indomitable as the peril
reaching out for me.
I wait for You,
failing to satisfy my heart
with conjectures about
Of course You know where to find me;
You have certainly heard my pleas–
yet, what sense shall I make of Your response?
You are here with me yet,
You do not calm the sea.
You reach out to me but,
I do not know what to make
of the embrace.
How can I not look at the present
through the rosy lens of every yesterday
that Your love
seemed clearer than it does now?
Surely, You must understand
that I wrestle daily with the question
of where the God I used to know has gone.
I have not gone, dearest one.
I have not gone.
I do not treat you pitifully
or with less attention than before.
I am loving you just as much as I did
at any other time in your life.
You must understand: I am stretching you
beyond the boundaries you have created
for My love.
You bet it’s painful–
but is that because what I am pursuing in you
is not good?
No! I am introducing you
to aspects of your Savior Lord
that you have never seen–
that you could never know
if I did not press through with My purpose.
You see, My love goes farther, deeper
than you would sometimes like it to go.
The mystery of it is what pains you most.
That is okay.
I am helping you through the pain.
At the same time, you can rejoice because
I am opening your eyes to
things about Me that you could have never seen any other way.
I am taking you to greater depths of My love;
Depths that tell you more about Me
than about the small number of things
that fit within your personal comfort zone.
I am not holding out on you, My child.
I am merely drawing you in,
teaching you to reach after Me
and not for any reason that is beneath the
dignity of the relationship
I’m establishing between us.
Hold on, My child,
and you shall feel My grip–
holding you and teaching you to hold on to Me.
I love you.