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I have not gone

The waters are slipping over me–
Lord!
I’m trembling under the weight
burying me,
inch by inch.
Anxiety swells within me,
as indomitable as the peril
reaching out for me.
I wait for You,
failing to satisfy my heart
with conjectures about
Your inactivity.
Of course You know where to find me;
You have certainly heard my pleas–
yet, what sense shall I make of Your response?
You are here with me yet,
You do not calm the sea.
You reach out to me but,
I do not know what to make
of the embrace.
How can I not look at the present
through the rosy lens of every yesterday
that Your love
seemed clearer than it does now?
Surely, You must understand
that I wrestle daily with the question
of where the God I used to know has gone.

I have not gone, dearest one.
I have not gone.
I do not treat you pitifully
or with less attention than before.
I am loving you just as much as I did
at any other time in your life.
You must understand: I am stretching you
beyond the boundaries you have created
for My love.
You bet it’s painful–
but is that because what I am pursuing in you
is not good?
No! I am introducing you
to aspects of your Savior Lord
that you have never seen–
that you could never know
if I did not press through with My purpose.
You see, My love goes farther, deeper
than you would sometimes like it to go.
The mystery of it is what pains you most.
That is okay.
I am helping you through the pain.
At the same time, you can rejoice because
I am opening your eyes to
things about Me that you could have never seen any other way.
I am taking you to greater depths of My love;
Depths that tell you more about Me
than about the small number of things
that fit within your personal comfort zone.
I am not holding out on you, My child.
I am merely drawing you in,
teaching you to reach after Me
for Me
and not for any reason that is beneath the
dignity of the relationship
I’m establishing between us.
Hold on, My child,
and you shall feel My grip–
holding you and teaching you to hold on to Me.

I love you.

 
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Posted by on December 27, 2013 in Uncategorized, Waiting in Peace

 

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You are my life!

You are the most important reality in my life.
You are the most i n f i n i t e reality of my life.
There is nothing about You that could be minimized by something else.
Your place in my life cannot be challenged;
therefore, I cannot be brought down or destroyed:
You are my life!

 
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Posted by on December 20, 2013 in Uncategorized, Waiting in Hope

 

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To tell you the truth, I’ll introduce you to All You Need

To tell you the truth,
I don’t have to tell you
tales–dragging you into foreign lands,
introducing you to fantastic
characters, pushing the boundaries
of the real and make-believe.
To tell you the truth,
I don’t have to overpower you
with criticisms that place
you beneath the line
I have deemed “acceptable”
and “perfect.”
To tell you the truth,
I don’t have to praise you
with flatteries that come
from no where
and offer you nothing.
To tell you the truth,
the one thing I must give you
is an open invitation
to meet the One
who gives Himself the name All You Need.

 
 

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What’s dis stage life about, Lord?

Circumstances drape
the stage
we’re on
with scenery
both disturbing
and disappointing.
I did not count
on playing out scenes
with You
that were so
littered
with broken props
and mangled expressions
of theatre.
I feel displaced
and distracted–
I’m not cut out
for working with
disorder like this!
Yet, despite my
distain,
You draw near
to begin a discourse
more significant
than anything
surrounding me:

My disgruntled
little actress!
How upset you are–
yet is it any wonder?–
You’ve lost sight of
the One Who first invited you
onto this stage.
I called you here–
gave you a part
in what I’m doing,
gave you a glimpse of
what I’m working with–
not so that you could
have something of comfort
and glory,
but so that you could
be captured by the
wonder of being
with Me!

 

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Grace is tactile…

Colors converge
to paint my life
in the hues of trial,
with purple highlighted in gray,
and the values of joy
shown by green dancing with gold,
but the texture of my life–
what gives it feeling
and meaning
and depth
is the grace
that comes through every pigment stain.

 
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Posted by on September 6, 2013 in Uncategorized, Waiting in Grace

 

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Circle and cradle ME, Lord, but not my plans or dreams

Circle me,
cradle me, Lord–
but do what You have to
with my plans.
How easily
they come between us
when I
cherish them
instead of embracing You.
Circle me,
cradle me, Lord–
but do what You have to
with my dreams.
Things are
always best for us
when I
make “more of You”
my only prayer.

 
 

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So long to everything on the other side of Love…

So long as my Father’s love
is not an endangered specimen,
I can live on the other side
of everything else I love.

 
 

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Yes’day, 2day, 2morra–God, You got it all

Today…
Lord,
I don’t think
that went
so well.
I ran out of
strength
and wished I could
run out
of the scene.
Tomorrow…
can I face it, Lord,
when today
already took
more from me
than I had to
give away,
when I needed Your
strength
to take over
and get me through?

My child,
have you thought of yesterday?
You no longer worry about the details
of that day because I have already
moved you out of it.
Isn’t that what I will do
with these days too?
Can I not reign over even those things
that make you feel weak?

 
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Posted by on August 16, 2013 in Uncategorized, Waiting in Trust

 

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You have been, You are, You handle my heart…Is that not love?

You have been true
in season and out.
You have exalted Yourself
when everything fell at Your feet.
You have been my anchor
when all else contributed to the storm.
You have upheld my head
when everything else brought it down.
You are my constant companion,
no one else matches You.
You handle my heart with gentleness
and insistence on wholeness.
I am not lost in Your hands;
it is there I am found
and always most truly known.
God, it’s hard for me to remember
Your goodness when I am distracted
by confrontations with conflicts
I did not foresee.
But God You are faithful.
You are the One right
I always have
when all else wrongs me.
You hold me,
love me,
stay me
amd choose me.
You are all.
I don’t want to think about anything else.
I know now, in a way only You
could have taught me,
that what is outside of You,
is outside of where I belong.
Let my thoughts rest on You.
May You be my living hope:
my enduring love.
All else passes away,
but You…OH! You
are
my Deliver,
my excellent
Redeemer
and Friend.
My true love.
My favored Lover.

 

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